1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one
belongs to the child out of line.
time or another.
6. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct
times of the day: lunch and prep period.
7. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you
can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in
8. You believe the teachers’ lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to
work 7 to 3 and have summers off.”
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone
says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own
17. You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was
a “good choice or a bad choice.”
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain
way after meeting his or her parents.